The Alternative Kid

Sometimes I wonder what went wrong with me

I’m so different from anyone I know. And very much so different from my family.

I think the first thing would be that I’m goth. There is absolutly nothing wrong about being part of the subculture, yet when I first started my family flipped out on me. They thought I wanted to be a witch, Satanist, or some type occult (their words not mine) I started on my goth endeavors when I was at the young age of ten even though I had no idea what goth really was I just really started to like creepy things, black clothes and developed a taste for different types of rock music when my entire life I had only heard R&B and gospel.

I’m what most people call agnostic. I was raised in church my entire family is Christian yet I don’t feel like I belong to that faith. There are just somethings I don’t believe are right for me personally. I have a set of different principals and moral that I’ve created for myself.

One, I’m straight edge (no smoking, drinking, recreational drugs or promiscuity)

two, I believe in staying positive and being grateful for what you have (the law of attraction) I like to mediate too.

Three, I believe in standing for something. I believe that people should help out others, standing up for what you belive in is so important to me for some reason. Standing up for others just makes you feel better as a person I think. I’ve learned to be more accepting of others because I know what it’s like to be put down and especially by the people you least expect it from.

I’m also that type of person who likes to give even when my pockets are empty. You know they always say It’s always better to give then recieve? That was the motto I sort of lived by along with ‘treat others the way you wish to be treated’ well the only problem I had with that was I kept giving and giving. I was always so nice to everyone but I realized I was still the only one to be treated like shit. I’m still the same but more reserved. I didn’t let that fact get to me and what I believe I’m still what most people would say is too nice. My friend forgot her lunch and I gave her mine but since she had her lunch aftermine I delivered it too her classroom

I’m in the motions to become vegetarian and eventually vegan.

And because of these reasons I always feel like I don’t belong anywhere. Not at my own house, school, or my dads house. I have friends, a lot actually but like I said I don’t know anyone like me and it kinda sucks. And because of my reasons listed above I’ve been made to feel like I’m a terrible, selfless, hellbound soul. Do I really deserve that? Am I soooo bad because I’d rather wear black and listen to rock music while I try to take care of my body? Is it bad that I want read a novel to escape the world around than pop pill and drink til I pass out?

I don’t think so, but the world around me does it really makes me sad.